Signs Your Marriage Isn't Worth Saving
Noreen|Jan. 18, 2019
If you haven’t noticed, love is one complicated beast. One second, everything seems great—the butterflies are fluttering every time you see your partner, and you basically have to ban yourself from sending heart-eyed emojis. Then the next, you’re Googling how to file divorce papers. Sometimes, issues can be worked out and you can get that initial spark back once again, and other times, it might just be better to throw in the towel and move on.
1. You Feel Unsafe
Your partner is supposed to be your protector—not someone who makes you feel unsafe in your own home. And that’s one of the biggest reasons why to end a relationship, stat. “If your safety and the safety of your children is being threatened, it may be better to move forward in your own physical space with your own life,” says psychologist Paulette Sherman, author of Facebook Dating: From 1st Date to Soulmate. “It’s not fair to be kept in a state of fear and to continue to allow yourself to be abused, whether that’s emotionally or physically.”
Just don’t end it on your own if you safety is at risk. Ending abusive relationships requires careful planning, and it’s recommended that you talk to someone you trust—like your doctor or a family member—to get the help you need.
2. They Cheated
It doesn’t matter if they cheated once or multiple times. If that distrust has affected you beyond what you can ever imagine fixing, it might be time to end your marriage. Sometimes people can be forgiven and couples can move forward through a betrayal, but if you don’t foresee that ever happening, don’t stay in something that makes you unhappy. For more on why partners cheat, check out these 20 Surprising Things That Can Cause Someone to Cheat.
3. You’re Not Attracted to Your Partner Anymore
At first, you were totally enthralled with your partner, ready to pounce the second they got home from work. If you no longer feel that attraction after years of being married and instead feel like your once-spicy relationship has turned into a sparkless friendship, it could be a sign it’s time to rethink things. After all, you only have one life to live.
4. You Don’t Agree on Anything
Over time, people change—and unfortunately that means your marriage can change, too. At first, everything felt easy-peasy with no worries. Now, you have real problems to deal with and you’re no longer on the same page about any of ‘em. If you can’t agree on anything and most of your time is spent arguing, that’s not good for anyone.
5. Progress Is One-Sided
Marriages take work from both sides—not just your own. “A marriage may not be worth saving if your partner refuses to work on anything or take responsibility for creating a joint life,” Sherman says. “If they call all the shots and none of your needs are ever heeded, you may decide that the only way to create a healthy relationship is by yourself or with someone new.”