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14 S£x Questions To Ask Your Partner To Ensure S£xual Consent

Efosa

Aug. 10, 2020

Get comfortable talking about s£x.
Before getting intimate with your partner, there are a few consensual s£x questions that are worth asking.
Over the last 10 years of coaching and connecting, I have worked with mostly men and couples. I started out with tantra and sacred s£xuality focusing on premature ejaculation and erectile dysfunction.
I have helped men connect to get out of their heads(quiet thoughts) and into their bodies(feel sensations), harness and control their s£xual energy and orgasm. I have helped them get to know women's bodies and women's s£xual response.
They have gained confidence and knowledge that helped them have more s£x and importantly more satisfying s£x.
Along the way, many men have opened up to me about their concerns and fear around dealing with masculinity and understanding women in and out of the bedroom. Men either feel like aggressive entitled jerks or passive pushovers stuck in the friend zone.
Men need an assertive safe zone.
In the wake of this 'Me too' movement, there has been a rise in fear around masculine energy. It has been framed as toxic and detrimental.
Not every touch, compliment or glance is an assault. Not every woman feels like a victim. The toxic masculinity frame has harmed men as well as women! The time has come to bring the conscious divine masculine to clarity and shatter the toxic masculine image!
Instead of taking sides let's come together and communicate in a healthy, loving way.
Fact is, we have a lack of s£x education in our country and most of the world. We are not taught communication skills in general. It is clear why we have so much miscommunication or lack of communication about s£xuality.
Women and men have been taught opposite messages around s£xuality. It is time to unlearn these harmful ideas, attitudes and beliefs.
Always talk about s£x before diving in. If you are not comfortable talking about it, you probably shouldn't be doing it.
Here are some helpful questions everyone can use, for having s£xual consent conversations with your partner/partners or a potential partner.
Say out loud and agree upfront: there are no judgments or expectations and nothing will be taken personally, this is all just information.
What to say, what to ask:
1. Do you want to be in a monogamous relationship?
2. What does monogamous mean to you? 
3. I'm really into XYZ are you comfortable with that?’
4. I recently saw this type of play and I am interested in experimenting.
5. How do you feel/what do you think about that?
6. Would you like to try XYZ with me?
7. Tell me if I am using too much or too little pressure.
8. Does XYZ feel good to you?
9. Would you like more pressure than this or less?
10. What are your boundaries in the bedroom? What is completely off the table?
11. What do you find pleasurable?
12. What is not pleasurable to you?
13. What are some things you would like to experiment with?
14. What is your definition of kink? what is taboo to you but is a turn on?
Always keep in mind that in the heat of the moment a yes can become a no but a no can not become a yes. The last thing you want to do is break trust.
You can always have another conversation and create new boundaries for next time. Better to take it slow and be conscious than to have remorse later for crossing a line in the heat of the moment.
A little bit of communication even if it feels awkward, can guarantee a more satisfying experience for you both. Keep in mind the more you have these conversations the more comfortable they will become.
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