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Empty-nester couples face their own ‘Us’ moment as university begins
Sep 27, 2020
‘I want change!” So says Connie Petersen in the new BBC series Us , as she and husband Douglas imagine a future without their son Albie. How many of us have had her words ringing in our ears this week as we’ve dropped our teenagers off at university and headed home as the child-free couple we’ve not been for many years?
How we stay together: 'I’ve got your back. Whatever happens, I’ve got your back' Read more
Albie is an only child, and his impending departure for university throws Connie and Douglas into a tumultuous reassessment of their marriage, bringing into sharp focus the impact of the end of what are sometimes called the “heavy lifting” years of parenting. With the child or children gone, parents no longer have them to hide behind: the marriage, with its fault lines, weaknesses and strengths, is exposed in ways it hasn’t been for decades.
My husband and I are certainly in that ballpark: we’ve been married for 32 years, and last week we dropped the youngest of our four daughters off at university. It’s the end of what has probably been the most eventful and demanding chapter of our lives; and alongside adjusting to no longer having to take children into consideration at every turn, there’s the stark reality of just “us”: every morning at breakfast, every evening at supper – and in these coronavirus days of working from home, lunchtime as well.
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