Nicole Kidman is back as the weirdo wellness guru whose guinea-pig patients are more irritating than the last bunch

There are two Nicole Kidmans. There’s the brilliantly talented, risk-taking actress who can still surprise us with challenging, audacious films like Destroyer, The Northman and last year’s provocative erotic thriller Babygirl.

Then there’s the other one: the producer-star who continually churns out glossy, empty, increasingly samey streaming dramas about the suffering rich, such as The Undoing, Expats and, of course, Nine Perfect Strangers (Prime Video, Thursday, May 22), which is back for a second season, despite originally being billed as a miniseries (a sneaky practice that’s become commonplace).

Nine Perfect Strangers | Season 2 Official Trailer | Hulu

If you thought the first one in 2021 was a load of old drivel, the second, which opens with a double bill and lacks the foundation of Liane Moriarty’s source novel, is nine times worse.

Frequently almost comedically bad, but without the saving grace of anything resembling humour, it’s the answer to a question nobody asked.

Once again, Kidman dons a platinum blonde wig and adopts an off-the-peg ‘Russian’ accent that even Meryl Streep, during her funny-voices-and-silly-hats phase, would have been ashamed of as weird wellness guru Masha Dmitrichenko, who’s fluent in psychobabble bullsh*t.