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I [24F] am having trouble taking things slow with him [25M]

Shehu Dauda Gar

Aug. 13, 2019

We've only been on four dates and known each other for probably around a month now. He's really busy in the evenings during the week so we basically just hang out every weekend. I like him a lot and I want to see where this goes but I'm having a really hard time just getting to know someone. I keep wanting to self-sabotage and exit the whole situation; it gives me so much anxiety and I can't explain why.
I lost my last serious boyfriend about ~2 years ago now to a drug overdose and I haven't been seriously with anyone since. Going on dates with this guy has been fun but also very emotional for me. Last night I sobbed about my ex for hours for basically no reason. It's just very hard for me to open up or really seriously think about dating anyone (even though I have no indication that this is serious yet). I can't even really explain what my problem is, so no one understands what I am complaining about. Basically I'm just so afraid. Nothing about this is fun; it feels very anxiety-inducing when it should be lowkey and just about getting to know someone.
For what it's worth I am in therapy though I haven't had the chance to talk about my therapist about this yet. I think I'm struggling with being vulnerable with anyone and being close to someone who isn't my ex, but it feels like I shouldn't even be thinking that seriously about those sorts of things right now. How do I stay calm and just try to "take things slow"? I want to have fun; I don't want this to be as intense as I'm needlessly making it.
TLDR: I just started dating someone and the entire process is giving me anxiety. How do I stay calm and enjoy myself?
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