My (20F) boyfriend (20M) got upset when I asked for more reassurance.
Aug. 14, 2019
My boyfriend and I have been dating for about a year and a half and recently went on a 4 month break (initiated by him) due to his mental health problems. We got back together and things were really great at first. He was getting therapy, enrolled back into university, and would constantly tell me how lucky he is to have me, how much he loves me, etc.
About this past month, I’ve noticed him become angry at me more often for little things, and has not given me the words of affirmation that mean so much to me. I’m not going to lie, our break was really difficult for me, and I’m very afraid of losing him. Him acting differently (similarly to how he did before our break) had me in my head and I started to wonder if he was still happy with me.
Tonight, I brought it up, saying it would be nice to hear sweet things every once in a while because he knows I love them so much. My boyfriend got very offended.
He says that I know I have a lot on my plate, and it is so unfair of me to ask for more reassurance. It is true - he is enrolling in a new university, has begun to train for lacrosse at this school for a scholarship, and also works part-time. He says he can’t believe I’m not understanding to all of this, and that I’m selfish for asking for more out of the relationship when he already gives so much.
Am I being unreasonable? The conversation ended with me being in tears and him saying I need to not bring something up like this again. I feel crazy and selfish. Am I in the wrong here?
Tl;dr: I asked my boyfriend to give me more reassurance and he got upset, saying he has a lot on his plate currently. Am I being unreasonable?
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