I [23F] went on a Bumble date with a guy [25M] and it was awkward but he still seemed pretty interested in me, yet I was hit with the rejection text ......
Sept. 09, 2019
Just for background, I am 23 and female, well-educated, reasonably attractive, no usual red flags, etc. etc.. I’ll try to keep this short, but yesterday, I went out on a first date with a Bumble match and it was generally awkward but ended on a positive note (at least I thought). We really seemed to hit off via text the few days leading up to our date, and he even made a bunch of arrangements in plans to see me (which happened to be during his birthday too), so he seemed really interested. Additionally he had on his profile that he was looking for a relationship, and I’m looking for something serious too, so I thought it could be promising.
We were going to meet at a coffee shop, and I met him just outside of it, and immediately it seemed kind of strange. We immediately went into the coffee shop, and he asked me if I wanted to order anything because he probably wouldn’t (which I thought seemed weird/a sign of disinterest). I said it was fine, I didn’t want to get anything if he didn’t, and we could just walk around instead. As we were walking, I am quite a shy person, and yet it felt like I was doing most of the legwork of the conversation - he just seemed uncomfortable around me, could barely look me in the eye, and could only get out a few words at a time. I thought he was just really nervous and/or attracted to me physically (kind of like how you can barely talk to your crush), so I just brushed it off. Afterwards, conversation got better but was kind of forced, I guess there wasn’t much flow, but it wasn’t unsalvageable and he seemed like a nice person. I told him ahead of time I only had an hour, but it was flexible, and when he went to walk me to my car to say goodbye (and went for the hug instead of the kiss), I told him I could maybe spare another ½ hour. I thought he was just nervous to make a move, so I invited him to sit in my car with the AC since we had been walking around in heat for the past hour. We ended up making out pretty heavily during that time, with his hands all over me, and he even told me he thought I was cute and a good kisser.
A few hours after the date, he said “Hey, had fun :) sorry if I was awkward lol” and I told him I did too, and he was totally fine, and asked when he’d be available again and that’s when I got hit with the rejection text:
“Hey ___, I had a great time getting to know you, but I’m not sure I can see this moving forward seriously. I’m sorry :/”
I asked him if he could tell me why, and he basically did the whole, “it’s not you it’s me” thing: “it’s pretty telling that I’m still single, I'm not sure what I'm looking for right now” and said that he maybe thought the connection was a little lacking. So a pretty vague explanation.
From an outsider’s perspective, is there any egregious error that I made during the date that I didn’t realize? I guess I thought the date went at least alright and I definitely wanted to see him again after it.
Tl;Dr: I [23 F] went out with a guy [25 M] from Bumble for the first time, and it was overall a bit awkward, but we ended up kissing at the end so I figured that he was interested in me enough for a second date. However, I got the rejection text today after the “had fun” texts and I’m pretty confused.