My girlfriend [33F] makes a big deal about me [30F] discussing books with others [3 years]
Nov. 06, 2019
Hey Reddit. I had some trouble figuring out a good title for this so I'll hopefully clear things up with the post.
I read a lot. I love to read. Ever since the 4th grade I've read about 90-100 books a year (other than in uni because no time). I go to the library 2x a week, I read on the train to and from work and during my lunch break. Point is, I read a lot and everyone knows it.
I don't have a favorite genre or even a favorite book because I enjoy almost everything and I will read anything. Sure some books I don't finish because it wasn't for me, but I will still try to read the first 50 pages. I get book recommendations from friends, co-workers, waiters, strangers at the bookstore. I love to discuss books and if someone, doesn't matter who, read a good book recently it is going on my to-read list.
The problems began recently because at work I have a co-worker who also reads a lot and occasionally we will lend each other books. My girlfriend started to notice that I was getting a lot of books from this co-worker (I've gotten 6 books from her now. Not really a lot) so my girlfriend is saying that we are more than co-workers, there must be something else going on. She thinks it's super weird that this girl is lending me books and that I talk about books with her. She says that I'm now reading books that I would never normally read just because this co-worker recommended it.
Maybe something to note is that my girlfriend's mom loves reading just as much as I do and whenever we see each other we always discuss books and go through our to-read lists.
So my girlfriend kept saying that she thinks recommending books is an intimate thing and she would only do it with her closest friends, me, or her mom. I said good for her but I am not the same way. I'll read anything and people have been lending me books/giving me recommendations for years before I even met my girlfriend. This turned into a pretty big fight and neither of us are willing to budge on.
Then yesterday my best friend (whom my girlfriend hates with a fiery passion) messages me she said she just read some books that she thought I would like so she's going to send them to me. I told my girlfriend and she is so angry. One, because of the whole book lending thing again and two, because it's from my best friend that she actually wants me to cut out of my life.
I'm mostly just annoyed now, so I'm not sure what to do.
TL;DR: My girlfriend gets pissed when people (other than her mom) give me book recommendations, even though it's no secret that I love to read