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My [24F] best friend [23F] is having an obscenely expensive wedding


Feb. 10, 2020

My best friend and I have been friends since we were both 14. I love her to death. Her fiancé and her have been together since they were 16. They got engaged in late 2018. Shortly after the engagement, they decided that the wedding would be held in Hawaii. In order to ease the financial burden, she told all of the bridesmaids that she was setting up a payment plan with a travel agent and that we would all be staying in the same hotel suite.
It is now three months before the wedding. The payment plan never happened and the hotel suite ended up being over $500 a person, so all the bridesmaids switched to AirBnb. So far, the wedding will be costing me about $1500. In the past year, I’ve moved states to a higher cost of living place. I also was just hit with a $500 car bill. While I want to go to the wedding, I do not have the money to do so any longer and I feel frustrated that it’s costing so much and the assistance never came through. I called her this morning and she made it very clear that she could not help me at all, but was understanding of my financial burden. Would it make me an awful friend to back out? How should I go about doing so?
TL;DR: Best friend is having an outrageously expensive wedding and I think I need to back out.
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