What's The Funniest Thing That Ever Happened To You At Work?
Cynthia|March. 28, 2019
1. I work in the dining room of a retirement home and some of the residents use scooters.
On Halloween I got to wear my costume and I was dressed as Luigi. So after one resident was finished eating they asked me to get their scooter(best thing ever btw, those things can go fast). About halfway the table there is a banana peel on the ground and I slowly swerved to avoid it. And then I realized I was real life Mario Karting.
2. Back in my call center management days, I managed a team of bill collectors who spent their day making outbound calls trying to get people to pay their 30-90 day past due credit card bills.
I regularly sat with new hires and plugged in to their line so I could hear both sides of the conversation and give tips to my collectors.
I got up to walk back to my desk to get some forms, grabbed them and walked back down the aisle while looking down and reading one of the forms.
Yes, I fell over my own chair I had left sitting in the middle of the aisle. yes, I was wearing a skirt--at least I was wearing panties!
As I was trying to get up as daintily as possible I hear my collector say, " I'm sorry ma'am. No I am not laughing at your situation. I am laughing because my supervisor fell over a chair and her skirt went up."
Once I assured everyone I was fine we spent the rest of the day and most of the next couple weeks giggling about it.
3. Once, I was taking my lunch break and since I'd finished eating I was just laying on the ground reading a book. All of a sudden I hear something moving through the brush, it was fall so lots of crunchy leaves everywhere. I looked up and saw some vague black mass moving towards me. My first thought was 'Fuck, it's a bear' but then the mass broke apart and it was just a gaggle of turkeys. After getting over my slight adrenaline rush and calling myself an idiot, I realized the turkeys still hadn't noticed me as I was laying very still and making basically no noise. At this point I realized I could have some fun.
There were somewhere between 15 - 20 turkeys and they were all moving in my general direction, but they were a bit spread out so only a few were heading straight towards me. I lay very still, keeping my head covered mostly by my hood, and just watched as they got closer and closer to me. After about 10 minutes I had 6 or 7 turkeys within 15 feet of me, with the closest being only 6ft away. At this point I jumped up while roaring as loud as I could and all hell broke loose. I have never seen anything funnier in my life then this gaggle of extemely surprised and confused turkeys gobbling, running, and tripping over themselves trying to get away. 3 of them puffed up and tried to run off with their tail feathers fluffed out so they were just half wobbling half running. Best lunch break of my life.
4. My third day of work at my current job, I discovered a spider in my cleavage. Without even thinking about it, I jumped out of my chair freaking out and trying to get it off of me. This resulted in most of my team seeing my completely exposed bra as I tried to get it out of one of the cups.
It was pretty mortifying, but we had a pretty good laugh about it.
5. Loads of funny stuff happens when you teach in a primary school. Kids are just hilarious.
But the funniest thing that happened recently was one of my co-workers who's originally from Bulgaria came into the staff room saying that it's her husband's birthday and she's bought two joke birthday cards but she doesn't understand them and would like us to explain. She reads out the first one which says "This is a card for a man which isn't flowery or frilly, this is a card for a man...who's lost the spring in his willy!" and she goes "I think this is funny but is it too rude?" The whole staff room is cracking up and no one wants to explain.
She reads out the second card:
Patient: I'm having trouble with diarrhea.
Doctor: Here have a few spoonfuls of this. (doctor passes him some gravy granules) It'll thicken right up!
My co-worker goes, "I don't get the joke!" Someone bravely explains the joke and she laughs and then her face suddenly sinks and she says quietly, "I think I better return this...it seems too rude."
And we're all cracking up again, I mean, yeah the erectile dysfunction one was totally okay but poop jokes, no way.
6. I was on a break at work with one of my coworkers. I had a book open on the table, but I was having a conversation with him instead of reading. Anyway, I was eating yogurt and went to put my spoon in the pot to get some more, but I missed and slid my yogurt-y spoon all over my library book, all while maintaining eye contact with my coworker. We laughed for a good five minutes. But to be fair, we were working a night shift and everything is funny at 3 am.
7. When I was working at a gas station, I was the only person up front at night - the other guy on duty was putting away stock in the back room. A customer came in and asked for some cigarettes that were in a glass door cabinet behind the counter. I bent down to get the cigs, tried to stand up, and realized my hair was stuck in the spring for the door.
I told the customer to hold on a second while I fixed it (he was laughing already), and I could not get it untangled. My walkie was on the counter, and I wasn't about to scream for my coworker. I asked the customer to just grab the scissors off of the counter and pass them to me, but luckily my coworker came out when he was doing that. He rang the guy up for me and had his girlfriend spend like 5 minutes trying to untangle me before we decided to just cut the hair.
Never lived that down.
8. Funny not funny but i worked for these lawyers and if you can think of every rich lawyer stereotype, they fit them all. Stealing my lunch despite having seven and eight figures in the bank, paying me a shit salary then asking why i was "only" in brooks brothers and coach...the best was when one was out of town and "forgot to sign" his divorce papers- his legal team had drawn it all up and he had left the papers for his decree nisi on his desk. I had to forge his signature.
Most wtf moment of my life.