I (23f) called cps on my Mother (~50f) to check on the welfare of my younger siblings. My eldest sister(30f) freaked out and says I was out of line. ......
Limo|Aug. 09, 2019
I dont want to go into a ton of detail. The "need to know" is I have been out of the home the last 7 years, and during this time my two siblings have lived there still. While I was in the home, we were mentally and physically abused by our stepfather. We lived in trashy houses that were covered in actual garbage, including animal feces, and just stuff EVERYWHERE. I havent heard from my youngest sister since May. I am pretty sure she has been told to cut contact with all of us (us being her older siblings). My second to youngest sister is overweight with spinal issues and is supposed to be dieting and seeing a specialist that they do not take her to see.
I told the social worker that I wanted a check up on them because if previous deplorable conditions, and because I am not sure about any physical or mental abuse still happening in the home. It genuinely concerns me. I told them what happened with us (slammed into walls, things thrown at us, cussing, belittling our character... etc....) And told them repeatedly I really just want to know my little siblings dont have the same living conditions we had.
My husband supported me through the call, and agreed it was the right thing to do. My siblings all discussed it ahead of time with the exception of my eldest sister who moved out before things got bad and the two who live in the house. We all agreed it would at the very extreme least let them know that they were being watched and we didnt just give up on them... and maybe my Mother and SD would keep a clean house, clean nose etc..
CPS contacted my mother very quickly. Much faster than I anticipated. I mean within 3 hours. Following this my eldest sister who lives states away and hasnt contacted me in months calls and shes freaking out on me because she "knows Im the one who called". I denied nothing and simply said, "If they have nothing to hide, then they dont need to worry. Itll be over and done with pretty quickly " to which she replied "And if it isnt? If theyre taken away?" I said "Hopefully it doesnt come to that, and if it does it isnt on me. I didnt maltreat them. I didnt spread animal feces through the house. If they are clearly neglecting them, why should they have to stay in the house?" I asked "Would you let your children live like we did?" She didnt answer. I asked again, and she said "No. Id keep a decent house but its not your job to tell someone else how to parent". I said "Okay. So if this is all you called about, I think we're done here". She told me we all needed to "Get over what happened to us and move on with our lives!" (She moved out long before the abuse started and wasnt around for any of it)
Regardless of my personal experience, I can't help but feel like I did something wrong. I have limited to no contact with my Mother because of her husband, and she denies any abuse ever happened to any of us... My sister asked "Why dont you just pop in and see the conditions?" I told her "I cant be around (my stepfather). I refuse to subject myself to that negativity again"
While by husband and siblings agree it was the right thing to do... I still can't help feeling wrong for it.... like it "wasnt my place". But if it wasnt my place, whose was it? I really would like a third party outside opinion about what I did. Am wrong for reporting my family? Honestly, should I of just kept my mouth shut?
I don't mind having no contact with my Mother or eldest sister. They dont even know Im nearly 4 months pregnant because of how very very little we talk as it is. So the potential of never really having a relationship doesnt bug me really. What bugs me is not knowing if I was in the right.
TL;DR I called cps on my mother based on previous experience with being abused mentally and physically from our step father. I havent heard from my younger siblings in a while because communication had been cut. We lived with deplorable conditions, animal feces, garbage and clutter everywhere, being hit, having things thrown at us, etc. I told cps that I wasnt sure if anything was for sure happening still because again, we dont have contact, but that I wanted them to check on my siblings. Was I totally out of line?